The most common question we’re asked is how do we connect with family offices?
Family Offices control close to $10 trillion, invest quietly, and move faster than most institutions.
For funds, family offices are the ultimate LP: patient, flexible, and entrepreneurial.
For founders, they are strategic partners who think long-term, not quarter to quarter.
For professionals, they are exceptional employers: lean, fast, and purpose-driven.
And for service providers, they are discreet yet powerful clients who value trust above all else.
For the families, connecting with the right people is also vital.
Money alone does not guarantee access to the best people and deals.
So here’s the paradox:
Everyone wants to connect with family offices and family offices want to connect with the right people, so why is bridging the gap so difficult?
Partly because family offices are deliberately private. They run lean operations. And unlike institutional investors, they don’t follow a uniform playbook: each is a reflection of the family behind it, their wealth source, their governance style, their appetite for risk, and their values.
If you want to break in, you need more than a pitch deck.
You need strategy, patience, and above all, trust.
This guide brings together proven tactics, examples, and insights to help you do just that.
Why Family Offices Are Hard to Reach
Family offices walk a fine line between privacy and access.
Privacy: Families don’t want their names in databases or their inboxes flooded with irrelevant deal flow. Security is often a concern. Teams are small, and protecting time is critical.
As a result, family offices are selective, cautious, and highly protective of their time and attention. This makes cold approaches tough, but not impossible.
Access: At the same time, families know they can’t operate in isolation. They need to stay connected to source top-tier deals, attract exceptional talent, and build alliances. This is especially true for new family offices or those passing the reins to a younger generation.
Lead With Value
(One of our mantras at Mr Family Office)
The single most important principle is to add value before you ask for anything.
Family offices are constantly approached by people wanting something: capital, jobs, or mandates. Those who offer something first stand out.
Practical ways to lead with value:
Solve problems: If you notice something like their website, reporting, or investment structure has gaps, propose fixes. One FO executive told us the best cold outreach they ever received was from someone who flagged a risk in their systems.
Introduce people: Families remember those who bring them quality connections. Don’t hoard your network, share it. Make thoughtful introductions, then step back. Once the connection is made, resist the urge to manage it. Genuine introductions build goodwill and lasting trust.
Philanthropy: Support or highlight their charitable work. A huge number of family-to-family connections begin in philanthropy.
Research and insights: Share trends or data that speak to their sector. Example: a FO invested in consumer brands may appreciate a deep dive into commerce trends.
Education: Offer articles, workshops, webinars, or research papers that enrich their knowledge.
Benchmarks: Provide comparative data. Many FOs are still building their frameworks and value external benchmarking. Demonstrating an understanding of relevant benchmarks, whether in performance, costs, or governance, shows credibility and helps families see where they stand among their peers.
Operational hacks: Suggest proven efficiencies, tech tools, or cost savings.
The psychology is simple: reciprocity.
Do something genuinely useful, and you earn a chance to be heard.
Patience Pays
Relationships with family offices are a slow burn. Deals often come after years of coffees, lunches, or casual touchpoints. Whatever urgency you feel to close a deal or raise capital, don’t expect them to feel it too.
Think in terms of a long courtship. The good news is that when trust is built, family offices can move quickly. Unlike institutions, they don’t answer to layers of management, committees or LP boards.
Keeping with the courtship analogy, it may take time to marry, but once you do, the babies arrive quickly!
Part 1 – How to Find Family Offices
Warm Introductions: The Gold Standard
There’s one thing that consistently works to find family offices: warm introductions.
A referral or endorsement from someone the family office already engages with, knows and trusts, will instantly raise credibility and ensure your message is received with a level of seriousness that a cold email never could.
You need to think methodically about how to engineer a warm introduction.
Some of the best sources of warm intros:
Professional Advisors
Lawyers: Families rely on trusted legal counsel for structuring, governance, and transactions. If your lawyer knows a family office lawyer, you have an opening.
Accountants & Auditors: Often outsourced by family offices, these professionals see the numbers and are close to decision-makers. A well-timed referral from them can be invaluable.
Private Bankers: Banks often manage money for wealthy families. They can’t share names without permission but can pass your details along if you have something they believe will benefit the family.
Insurance Brokers or Trustees: Under-the-radar entities but highly trusted.
Fund Managers & Co-Investors
Family offices often invest across multiple funds. A GP who already has them as an LP can introduce you if there’s alignment.
Employees & Alumni
Staff often cycle between family offices and advisory firms. A junior analyst today may be a decision-maker tomorrow.
Entrepreneurs & Founders
Many families back startups directly. If you’ve worked with a founder who’s received FO capital, they may introduce you upstream (works better if the founder delivered a successful outcome for the family!)
Other Families
Families talk. They co-invest, sit on boards together, and socialize at events. Winning over one can quickly open doors to others.
Industry Events & Conferences
Events but even more so, the dinners and side events, are fertile ground for making connections that later lead to warm intros.
Philanthropy
Many intros happen in non-investment settings: charity boards, fundraising dinners, or foundation networks. Families who connect through philanthropy often extend those relationships into business.
Best Practices for Warm Intros
Be clear with the referrer. Don’t make them guess what you want. Provide a short blurb they can forward.
Respect their reputation. If someone introduces you, you carry their credibility. Act accordingly.
Make it easy. Draft a two-line intro email they can copy-paste.
Don’t overuse. Burning out your network with constant asks will backfire.
Bottom line: The fastest way into a family office is through the people already around them. Find family offices through your existing network, even if the connections are second-degree. Map the ecosystem, advisors, employees, peers, and philanthropies, and nurture those connections authentically.
Social Media
Family office professionals and principals are online. LinkedIn has become increasingly noisy but still a hotspot. X is where many next-gens and advisors share views.
They’re mostly anonymous, so don’t expect company names. Regardless, consistent presence here can build visibility with the right audience.
Do:
Build a credible profile.
Post and comment intelligently.
Follow principals and advisors.
Share original insights.
Don’t:
Spam DMs.
Oversell yourself.
Post stuff that ruins your credibility (AI slop).
Conferences
Conferences and events can be goldmines if approached right.
They can also be a total waste of time.
To get the most out of events:
Research attendees in advance.
Perfect your elevator pitch.
Engage in panels and Q&A.
Attend the peripheral gatherings.
Focus on quality, not quantity.
Use breaks for casual introductions (this is a golden opportunity).
Follow up quickly and personally.
Persistence matters but the right kind of persistence: connect, don’t sell.
Databases & Directories
If you have real value to offer family offices, databases can scale outreach when used wisely.
High-end: FINTRX (exceptional detail, pricey).
Mid-tier: Family Office Access
Getting contact details is just the start. The key is not blasting emails but identifying the right office and the right person, then finding a way to engineer a warm introduction.
Deal Networks
Curated deal networks are growing. They filter noise and showcase vetted opportunities to active family office investors.
A range of sector-specific platforms and communities are emerging for those seeking family office investment. One, entirely unbiased example of course, is the MrFO Investor Community.
Part 2 – How to Approach
Research, Research, Research
Every family office is unique. There’s no getting around it, do the work:
What’s the family story?
Who runs the office?
What sectors do they like?
What’s their history of investments?
What values drive decisions (succession, philanthropy, impact)?
Regional nuance matters. To stereotype: European offices tend to be conservative and deliberate, U.S. offices more opportunistic, Asian offices intergenerational and relationship-driven, Middle Eastern offices are often tied to family conglomerates and sovereign wealth.
But don’t generalize, do the homework.
Build Trust First, Pitch Later
The best relationships start before you need something. Share insights, introductions, and goodwill long before you fundraise or sell.
Trust is the currency that matters most.
Craft the Pitch
Once you’ve done the research and opened some doors, the right time will come to pitch. When that time comes:
Tailor it. Align with their sectors, geographies, ticket sizes, and horizon.
Keep it simple. A crisp, relevant story is better than a 40-slide deck. (family offices see a LOT of offerings).
Principals matter. Families want to hear from senior people, not juniors.
Part 3 – Other Considerations
Mind the Fees
Something often overlooked about family offices is a high degree of fee sensitivity.
First-generation families are particularly fee-sensitive. For fund managers, expect pushback on “2 and 20.” Alignment models, lower management fees and higher carry, resonate more.
Cold Outreach: The Last Resort
Warm intros always outperform. But if you must ‘do a Mark Cuban’ and go cold:
Research deeply.
Personalize your message.
Lead with value, not the ask (sound familiar?).
Be polite, brief, and transparent.
Mass cold calls or email blasts are dead on arrival. A handful of carefully researched messages can still work.
Don’t Forget The ‘Family’ In Family Office
At the heart of every family office is a family.
No matter how slick your pitch is, decisions are often shaped by values, legacy, succession, and personalities.
The best relationships respect that human side. Showing genuine interest in the family’s well-being, not just their capital, builds bonds that last.
Career Angle: For Individuals Seeking FO Roles
Family offices can be highly desirable employers.
Compensation is strong, work is entrepreneurial, mandates are broad. But roles are rare, and hiring opaque.
The same rules apply:
Warm introductions from insiders, advisors or recruiters matter most.
Have patience, jobs may open irregularly.
As always, lead with value and show expertise.
Final Word
Connecting effectively with family offices is one of the most valuable skills in finance today.
Approach it with military-level precision and targeting
→ Start with your network. Warm introductions rule.
→ Research deeply. Every family is unique.
→ Lead with value. Share before you ask.
→ Be patient. Relationships take years to build.
Do this well, and you could build relationships that last decades.
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